yeah she did July 17, 2008

so this is definitely not to be missed. i saw it while i was hungover and watching e! with brian and jessica this past weekend.

celine doing the beatbox. yeah she’s so crazy. and it made me think of you, jen. i knew you’d appreciate it.

love you all!

a much-needed update June 30, 2008

so things are getting better. and this is a relief for sure. the crazy first construction project where we jacked the woman’s house off its foundation is on pause while some other people put her hardwood flooring in, and this means we are working on a really nice house by duke that the couple hasn’t moved into yet. tiling and cabinets and hardwood flooring and crown molding are the projects here, and they’re much better. i’m still wo’ out everyday, and i don’t think that is going to get any better with more time, because i’ve just decided i am not supposed to be in the heat that much. i’m the sweatiest person alive quite possibly, and i just don’t get down with being that nasty. the couple seems nice. she is a professor at duke (my brother is supposed to find out what she teaches for me, because i’m curious about these things), and he does something where he is traveling all the time. still not much free time ever, but i’m making it work the best i can.

i had sat off, which was really great, but i didn’t get any of the things done i wanted. i did get to talk with jordanna for a while on the phone, though, which made me very happy. and i went out with brian and our friend susan and spent today with them, and seeing eva and alison who are going to be fully moved here in a couple weeks. i’m very excited about that.

my mom’s not been feeling well, and she’s leaving for montana tomorrow until the 13th. yes it’s for that crazy church, and i’m not that thrilled about that, but i hope she has a great trip with my aunt and her cousin. she needs to get away from work at the very least. but i will miss her.

i’m excited to hear about jen’s moving into a house in asheville! i miss all of you so much, and it will be so wonderful to see you first of all as my return to asheville! i talked to kenny the other week and we have tentative plans to go to the zoo with mark and jordanna some weekend. other than that i have been out of touch, and haven’t seen or talked to anyone much with my new work schedule, but i intend to get much better at managing that.

i finished watching arrested development on alluc and it made me think of you guys and miss you all even more. brain and i got drunk on wine and books and watched the 3rd season in like 2 days pretty much. i can’t even decide on my favorite parts. we may need to watch it again. i am also trying to get bam bam and celeste for him to see!

i guess that’s all the update really, but i hope you all are well and happy! .:MUCHLOVE:.

also this is one of my favorite singers – gina rene, and this is her new song “be the change,” which you can buy for $1 at cdbaby.com. it’s really inspired much in the same way as the yes we can video. just thought i’d drop that on ya. enjoy

angst-y June 19, 2008

this summer has been a mess. trying to find a job turned me into a complete wreck emotionally. and has taken over my soul in many ways. so i started work with my brother doing remodeling and renovations and construction with his company. i am incredibly grateful for the opportunity and am trying to be the best completely inexperienced help ever. so far so good, except i am at work by 7 each morning and working 10-12 hour days and not having any time to myself. i’m having to go to bed early, like 11:30 and such to make it work, and it’s hard for me to make myself do this when it is the only time i have.

but i’m getting ahead of myself. the job hunting depressed me to an extreme amount. even fucking super target didn’t call me back or anything, and their fucking application took me 40 minutes at a little computer right in the store. fucking humiliating. then my grandpa found an ad in the paper for a sales job that paid $15/hr, and i filled out the application online and got an interview and went to that and it lasted 90 minutes, only for me to find out that it is that scam where you sell fucking knives by appointments, which you have to put a $155 security deposit on up front. so i was completely punk’d on that, and the interview was all the way in raleigh, and i spent nearly all the dollars i had left on gas to get there. then my check engine light comes on in my car on my way back. something else to fix on the car apparently, which i have no money for. and a bitch cannot get a break there, because after my wreck before school was out i realized that june is the month i have to get my car inspected! it will not pass right now, and i can’t fix it yet. so i’m hoping to not get pulled or fined.

also, god how i hate summer! it is so fucking hot, and all i can think about is how out of shape i am. i have been getting a bit of exercise here and there and vigilantly watching what i was eating until this new job, because there is no way. and it is over a month into the summer and i haven’t seen my friends hardly at all! because i have no money to do anything with them, or even to drive at all a lot of times.

and with the end of school in sight, i am really worried about finding a job, seeing as fucking target wouldn’t even call me back! plus i have to get a job that has health insurance because i will be fucked over without it, because of diabetes. i just feel like all things are working against me, and it has nothing to do with the people in my life, because they are the greatest, but otherwise i just can’t catch a break.

why can’t i just have a nice summer break? it’s my last one EVER! i just want to have some fun before i’m back to school for more of the major i hate and the ridiculous disappointments.

i know this is incredibly angsty and over the top, but i am sore all over from being under a house breathing through a mask, and getting the dirtiest ever in my life. and i have to go to bed in a matter of moments, because i have to be up at 6 to get ready to go jack a house off its foundation tomorrow. literally that’s what we are doing. this house needs so much work. i would leave and change my name if it were me. damn. but i love my brother so much for the work, and i really am trying to be the best at it that i can, but it’s hard for me to be manly. it’s just not me, no matter how hard i try, and it is a constant effort. i feel like i have been acting all day; trying to pass, and then i get home and have no recuperation time before i am back to do it all again the next day.

sunday is the only day we have off this week, and i am just dreading telling my parents i am not going to church because if they have the nerve to be surprised or hurt that i won’t, i may snap. i simply cannot spend my only day off listening to all of that. more acting. i will do my best to pass as a manly guy that can handle construction, but i will not go to role # 2 and try to pass as a christian. fire me now. and my running policy is that i will go on special occasions, because i know how much it means to my family, but last week was fathers’ day and i went. this sunday we’re early celebrating my dad’s birthday… so you have to draw a line somewhere or the occasions could just continue to sneak up.

there’s just got to be some rich man that would want a neurotic hopelessly dramatic mess like me to take care of. he could think of it as a challenge if that would motivate him. or as charity. doesn’t matter to me in the slightest, but a bitch needs a break.

worth mentioning May 23, 2008

it may be worth noting that i have just returned from mowing the grass. on a hella crazy riding lawnmower. not for the first time, but the second of the week. i mowed our lawn on monday, and then my grandma’s today.

also worth noting, my family is the gossipiest ever. it was priceless. we were standing in my grandma’s driveway and she was talking about her neighbor with my dad and my aunt, and i just couldn’t stop laughing. it was surreal.

i also find it mildly amusing/sorta annoying that some people don’t understand how long it takes to find a pointless retail job, much less a “real” job. i am waiting until the end of my days to hear back from starbucks and my grandma is telling me about how tricky the job market is, and i’m left thinking you can’t be serious that i’d be even considered for that kind of job, right?

i guess family members have an inflated sense of what options of the world would be out there for me. or maybe i’m just too pessimistic. ask me again at the end of next week, and if i still don’t have a job, i may or may not be a truly bitter lady.

other than that, life is good. i’ve been domestic all week. cleaning, and reading leisurely, and watching movies. funny. won’t be funny if it continues much longer, but for now it’s cool.

get it May 22, 2008

ok first post, here we go.

first of all: hey hey hey to my girls!

so this summer is going reasonably well so far. i am still looking for a job, because a bitch has virtually no dollars in her life! it’s a sad look for sure. and it never fails to surprise me just how difficult is is to get a job, even at some lame ass stores! also to complicate that factor in a ridiculous way is the fact that i was fired from banana, and probably would have bad references from them and barnes & noble at the very least. ew. but the places i’ve applied so far have seemed hopeful for me, and told me they’d let me know something this week. here’s hoping. otherwise i will just have to stop being so picky and may end up working somewhere completely uncool/hatable. fingers, toes, eyes, and legs crossed fa rull!

in other (more exciting news), i had a fucking amazing time at the erykah badu/roots show with brian! omg. here’s a video of some of the highlights that someone posted on youtube if you wanna see we definitely snuck in little bottles of vanilla stoli to mix with soda for the show – like 12 of them! if that isn’t ghetto enough for you, please understand that we had no idea where the coliseum was (even though i’d been before), and once we got there we could not find the will call place (despite asking for directions from 2 workers who sent our ass in every wrong direction!). we met another lost lady named amber and we bonded, but that bitch had 7th row seats so she promptly left our ass once she got in (but we saw her after the show . so i was feeling nervous about sneaking the vodka in, but thank god brian is way better at playing shit off than me (and he had more pockets), because i definitely dropped on right out in the middle of everything! yeah, i’m clumsy and lost at all times.

the roots went first, and they were crazy hot. i wish i had that much energy. they were all over the place. even the guy with the huge ass horn thing was dancing around and being crazy. they did some old school stuff and some of the newest songs from their most recent album, rising down. they even did biz markie’s “just a friend!” they got everyone hyped up, though, which made for some really good energy and a lot of fun. which meant brain and i had to go mix our drinks in the bathroom afterwards and get our esspurience on.

ms. badu was late as hell to come on, but it was worth the wait! from the second she was on, she had us hooked. she was giving it up and telling the truth on things. she did a lot from new amerykah, and then brought in old school badu a little after she’d gotten started. she was banging some crazy ass drum like it had done her wrong, and she had the hottest shoes, and the whole thing was fierce and famous. she played this song called “annie (ain’t don’t wear no panties),” which cracked me up.

when she did “green eyes” she had two red yoga balls and she was dancing with them and throwing them around to people on stage before kicking them out into the audience. badu is crazy. then she finished off with “bag lady” and “honey.” she was getting people in the audience to take the mic on some parts, and not a damn one could sing, which was wildly entertaining, and she’d be like, “go ‘head queen, go ‘head brotha” no matter how bad they sounded. she didn’t have the big fro, but she was rocking those shoes and a purple hoodie at one point. brian kept yelling for her to “sing tyrone!” and many others were wanting the same thing. i was too busy dancing to care. amazing show.

then we went and got some wine, and some cosmic cantina, and had a madonna sing-a-long in the car on the way to my house, where we watched strangers with candy and the simple life drunk out of our minds until morning. i spent the next day in bed with brian, avoiding cutting the grass until 30 mins before a storm when i started and had to come in. we watched the opposite of sex and american beauty, and then my parents came home from their 29th anniversary weekend.

instead of job hunting today, i watched the entire angels in america in the morning, and then slept the rest of the afternoon. i cleaned up the house some after that, and then my family came home and we all watched enchanted.

yeah, life is good.

except that i miss all of you! and i need dollars so i can visit. but we gonna work it out.

much love, ladies!

.:jeff:.